Why Empathy Must Be Part of the Treatment Plan

It’s 10:30 pm I just got off the phone with a mother who was desperate. Her child was in so much pain she reached out to me for help. She began by asking a very nuanced medical question, one that was far beyond my scope to answer. As we spoke, it became clear that the real crisis was not only the symptoms. It was the silence around them.

I did not give medical advice. I cannot and I will not.

But I did share something from my own lived experience, nearly thirty nine years of navigating a condition that requires not only treatment plans, but a healthcare professional who truly listens. Too often, families leave clinical encounters without feeling heard or understood, and that absence of compassion or validation can be just as destabilizing as the symptoms themselves. As this mother and I spoke, she kept repeating how validating it felt, something she had not experienced in the medical setting.

I am grateful to be able to offer that kind of support. But I am also troubled by what it reveals. When a parent feels they have nowhere to turn but someone other than a healthcare professional and thankfully not the internet, which can become a frightening rabbit hole, something in the system is deeply misaligned. If a patient walks away from multiple appointments with a top specialist feeling dismissed or discouraged, that is not a minor communication issue. That is a gap in care.

“Empathy is not an optional add on to medicine.”

I spoke about this in my interview with Renata Block for Dermatology Times a few months ago. Empathy is not an optional add on to medicine. It is not a soft skill. It is a clinical tool. It shapes trust, adherence, and emotional stability. It is often the difference between a family who can cope and a family who feels lost.

One resource I often recommend for anyone looking to bridge that gap and build real connection is Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg. It is a powerful reminder that communication is not just about exchanging information. It is about understanding the emotional reality of the person in front of you. When healthcare professionals embrace that, everything changes.

Lived experience does not replace medical expertise, but it fills in the blind spots that textbooks cannot reach. And until our healthcare system recognizes that both are essential, families will continue to fall through the cracks.